The Psychology of Habits

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Your world would be entirely different if you succeeded at consistently replacing the habits that you know don’t serve you well with new ones that emphasize good habits in health, fitness, nutrition as well as your career habits that lead to more productivity, less wasted time and more creative energy.  This is absolutely guaranteed…You may be saying “of course I know that”… but do you really?  It is easy to sit back and say yeah it would be cool, or different or amazing, but apparently, we are not good at really feeling what it would be like.  Feeling the goodness and the changes are what push us to make the changes.  Think about it, if you have ever experienced the implementation of a new habit that literally rocked your world, wasn’t it easier to continue on that journey?

Think of something that you really want badly.  It could be living somewhere amazing, maybe taking on a volunteer position to give back or building that new business that you have dreamt of.  Close your eyes and really feel with all your being what it would feel like if you lived in that new place.  What would your life look like every day?  Don’t just visualize, feel, and visualize.  If you are going to build that dream house, how does it feel when you get up every morning and look out the living room window with your coffee in your hand at the ocean and the people playing on the beach.  This is the life that you dreamt of and you made it happen.

What would need to change to make that happen.  You probably already know but have convinced yourself that it may happen someday or maybe you have actually gone so far as to believe it’s a nice dream for somebody, but it won’t happen for you or it is just too hard. 

Let’s be very clear on this though…goals are not habits.  Goals are goals and are nothing but a wish if there is no plan. Habits are habits and if developed correctly can help you achieve those big goals.

So, you can have any or all of those things that you were feeling and visualizing.  You just need to decide that the journey starts today.  The first step is to let yourself really feel what you want, and the next is to write down what you would have to do to make it happen.  This next step is important, because if you have gotten this far in the past you may have stopped here, and the truth is you stopped too soon.  The goal was still too big.  Take the list of the things that must happen for you to have your vision and break it down into 5 more attainable pieces.  You might look at these as smaller steps or goals.  Things that are more quickly accomplished so you can celebrate being one step closer.

Full Transcript

Did you know that your world would be entirely different if you succeeded at consistently replacing the habits that you know don’t serve you well with new ones that emphasize good habits in health, fitness, nutrition as well as your career habits that lead to more productivity, less wasted time and more creative energy?  This is absolutely guaranteed…You may be saying “of course I know that”… but do you really?  It is easy to sit back and say yeah it would be cool, or different or amazing, but apparently, we are not good at really feeling what it would be like.  Feeling the goodness and the changes are what push us to make the changes.  Think about it, if you have ever experienced the implementation of a new habit that literally rocked your world, wasn’t it easier to continue on that journey?

Think of something that you really really want badly.  It could be living somewhere amazing, maybe taking on a volunteer position to give back or building that new business that you have dreamt of.  Close your eyes and really feel with all your being what it would feel like if you lived in that new place.  What would your life look like every day?  Don’t just visualize, feel, and visualize.  If you are going to build that dream house, how does it feel when you get up every morning and look out the living room window with your coffee in your hand at the ocean and the people playing on the beach.  This is the life that you dreamt of and you made it happen.

What would need to change to make that happen.  You probably already know but have convinced yourself that it may happen someday or maybe you have actually gone so far as to believe it’s a nice dream for somebody, but it won’t happen for you or it is just too hard. 

Let’s be very clear on this though…goals are not habits.  Goals are goals and are nothing but a wish if there is no plan. Habits are habits and if  developed correctly can help you achieve those big goals.  Are we as clear as mud on that now?

So, you can have any or all of those things that you were feeling and visualizing.  You just need to decide that the journey starts today.  The first step is to let yourself really feel what you want, and the next is to write down what you would have to do to make it happen.  This next step is important, because if you have gotten this far in the past you may have stopped here, and the truth is you stopped too soon.  The goal was still too big.  Take the list of the things that must happen for you to have your vision and break it down into 5 more attainable pieces.  You might look at these as smaller steps or goals, things that are more quickly accomplished so you can celebrate being one step closer.

Here is where the broken link happens though.  People are inherently impatient.  We are an instant gratification society.  We want what we want, and we want it now.  Unfortunately for many people if their lives don’t operate this way they give up.  They say it does not work.   Really you never gave it a chance, so how do you know what works or doesn’t work.  If you plant a bulb in a pot of dirt or in your garden, you put fertilizer on it and then you faithfully water it every day, do you rip it out of the ground after 2 days because it has not bloomed.  I mean it didn’t work…you did everything right, but it didn’t grow.  Of course, you don’t.  You continue to water and wait and sure enough after a while you end up with a beautiful flower that you appreciate.

It seems to me that we are all worth the wait while we are changing and growing.  But you must be willing to do the work, or in other words take on the fertilizer and water every single day.

Now you may be thinking…but Leigh this lesson is supposed to be about habits…where does that come in.  Go back and look at your list of things that must change.  How many of those items could be broken down into habits that if changed would get you closer to those goals.  For instance, let’s say that you want to start a new business.  You know what it will take financially and time wise to make that happen, but you also know that you can’t just quit your job or close the doors on your existing business while you are building the new business.  That just, financially, is not possible.  So, how do you get the time to be able to put the building blocks in place so that you start to see progress because we all know that when we start to see things happening it gives us the excitement and the motivation to continue…no matter how small the steps of progress may seem…any movement forward is a win. How about this, maybe a new habit of time blocking or committing to having everything critical done in your current job by 1:00 would afford you the time to work on new endeavors.  What other habits that would increase your productivity could you put into place so that every hour has you getting more done in less time?  I can guarantee that many people if they evaluated their day, which by the way we should all do from time to time.  No, really take a day and write down what you accomplished every hour and don’t cheat.  You will be amazed at the amount of time that we waste on things like email, social media and chit chat. What if you got in a new habit of not getting on social media except for maybe 15 minutes at the end of your day…crazy right?  Just a thought.  Let’s take it one step further, what personal habits could you change to buy yourself more time to work on your future?  Could you delegate some household chores to someone else or hire them out, so that you could then have a new habit of working out at that time which would buy you more time somewhere else in your day, while at the same time incorporating a healthy habit that will naturally lead to increased energy that you are going to need to conquer the world with your new venture.

You are starting to see that it just might be do-able.  That there is actually a way to get everything that you want. You will have to think outside the box and really break down what you want in your life and be serious about what has to change.  But when you take little bites out of the big end goal you can do this…you know you can.  What about a new habit of including 3 things that are a priority each week to get accomplished that move you even just a little closer to completing one of the 5 things that I spoke about earlier.  Let’s get crazy and block out on your calendar time each day or week to work on that item.  Maybe it's 20 minutes a day or one 90 minute solid space in your week…it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you make it a habit because it is important to you and is going to get you where you want to go faster than just wishing it could be.

So to wrap up I challenge you to do a couple of things.

1. Write down what you want your life to look like.   A list is fine but one exercise that is really cool is to write yourself a letter.  Write it in the sense that you are already living the life you want and you are telling yourself all about what your life looks like.
2. Next is to go through each of the items in your future life and feel each one.  Feel what it is like to experience each one.  What does the water in that salt water pool feel like?
3. Now write out what you need to do to move the needle just a little closer.
4. Define the habits that you can change to give you the time, space, money or whatever it is that you will need.  Do not get wrapped up in excuses.  As long as you always tell yourself “I can figure it out” then you can’t be beat.

I hope that this has given you something to think about.  I know that it can be tough to move forward some days, but when I look at people around me that don’t have dreams or visions of new adventures, I truly feel sorry for them, until I realize they have built their box around them.  We can all break out and achieve a greater level if we just make a plan and develop the habits in our lives to sustain the momentum to get us to the finish line.

Please comment or ask questions below.  I would love to be able to help you reach your dreams and so I am offering for a limited time a free 60 minute 1 on 1 high performance coaching session for you or anyone that you know that wants to reach new levels.  This is my way of giving back in a time when the challenges of the world are feeling unbalanced and people need a lift up.  

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Remember at the end of every decision, it is your choice to Focus Forward.