Habits Build Us

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Summary

The most important good habit to have is clarity.  Let’s face it, we know that the more clarity you have the better you perform.  You just get stuff done and make things happen, opposed to when you have no clarity on what the end goal is, and you spin around in circles trying to convince yourself and others that you are extremely busy.

Have you been told for years by coaches that to have the drive and passion you need to succeed you have to have a big "Why”? Did you ever sit thru class after class and think do I even need a big why? 

Now please don't get off topic. Everyone of course has reasons for doing what they do, many of us have goals that never seemed special, or big enough. Most of us are not building schools for Children in Africa or building a foundation to save the whales. Have you had the struggle during class, when they asked us to write out our big why and then have a few people share theirs? Only if they were comfortable in doing so. Of course, only the people that were inventing water purification systems in Nairobi ever shared.  The rest of us sat there and tried to look like we had it all under control and just wanted to keep our big plans secret. When quite frankly we just could not begin to understand what we could do that was such a passion that our life revolved around it.

I don't mean to be sarcastic, but I just never thought I had it figured out. But hold on, I was positive at that time that I was the only one in the room that didn't get it. 

Ok-how to make the light bulb come on?  Some people realize that it is ok and, much more attainable to have numerous why's for different parts of life. Thus, your whys can be measurable and have a process. One huge why may not fulfill your needs or desires in all the areas of life.

This process could have a big giant why that you could wrap your head around.

What does that look like? Well, maybe for you finding Clarity in your personal relationships would be one area, another might be your business or career, while health may be another and the list builds from there.

No one (except your mom) can answer those questions for you but if you write out your own categories you will quickly be able to define what critical areas in your life are markers for your future success and happiness.

Use “why's" to set goals around that would influence every corner of your life.

 High performers have more clarity on who they are, what they want and how to get it. They have also done deep work to determine what they find fulfilling and meaningful.

Really take some time this week and think about the areas in your life that are most important to you and why.  What would you change in each of these areas to be the best version of yourself?  Take out your journal and start writing things out.  If you want to learn more about this Clarity piece, I encourage you to read Brendon’s book “High Performance Habits”.

Don't complain about life if you have no “why's" to set goals around that will influence every level of your life.

Check out our coaching programs and see which one will help get you on track to living your dream life!

Full Transcript

The conversation about habits is one that can go so many different directions. I mean for many people the moment you mention the word habit it conjures up a whole wad of negative. Whether it be from their childhood where a parent was continually trying to correct a less than desirable habit that may have negative social ramifications later in life. maybe it was a habit developed later that is not serving you well in meeting your goals. 

Whatever it is, it often feels like breaking bad habits is the theme vs creating new habits that would result in a more fulfilling life, or a healthier life. Maybe a new habit would produce more income for your business or generate more time to enjoy the hobbies you love.

What we do know through studies done by the high-performance institute is that high performers have specific habits that they follow in 6 defined Categories. Brendon Burchard and his team literally studied some of the highest performing individuals in the world and found the same results time after time. By defining and following habits that set them up for success in not just one area of their lives, but their entire being. Whether it was career, personal relationships, health, or financial they found that positive outcomes were incredibly sustainable with the right habits in place,

So great we know that amazing people have amazing habits. What does that mean for you?

By learning what the best of the best focus on we can begin to see huge changes quite rapidly.  Let’s be clear these habits within the 6 categories allow you to develop & implement what you prove to be most helpful for you.  The goal is not to turn everyone into robots. So, if you think you get to follow a 1, 2,3, a, b, c, plan and life will all of a sudden be rainbows and butterflies, I may be setting you up for a bit of disappointment. However, you are smart cookies. You know that anything great is worth hard work and effort.

Let's take for example a habit that everyone can relate to. Either this has been you or you know someone that has wanted to develop a habit that is going to lead to better health. Yep, you got it - Going to the gym.

It was pretty easy the 1st day and maybe even the 2nd day. However, the 3rd day you were sore and tired. It would be easy to find a reason not to go-but hopefully you didn't. Eventually not going to the gym felt wrong and threw off your rhythm. But until you got to that point it was hard, it was really hard!

I would love to tell you that some of the habits we are going to talk about will be easier than my example. Some likely will be, and others won't. That depends on you, what you want and what you are willing to do to make it happen. How big a life do you want? How big are your goals for yourself? These are important questions that you need to be able to answer. 

Seriously- you need to look at what you want vs where you are and what needs to change in your world to reach out and grab the brass ring. Maybe you don't have a clue and that's ok. Honestly most people don't know, and it's a learning process to discover. However, it is one that you can be guided through. Likely you will decide which new habits will be the ones that will bring you the results that seem most obviously needed.

As a Certified High-Performance coach of the high-performance Institute, I am going to give you a sneak peek into the 6 categories that I referenced earlier that high performers are diligently focused on.

In the next few weeks, I will focus on 2- 3 Of these areas in the hopes that something will resonate with you, and get you excited to make the changes in your daily habits that take your life to the next level.

So here we go- the 1st and what I consider to be the most important is clarity.  Let’s face it, we know that the more clarity you have the better you perform, you are more purposeful.  You just get stuff done and make things happen, opposed to when you have no clarity on what the end goal is and you spin around in circles trying to convince yourself and others that you are extremely busy.

Now I won't lie, this one was really, really tough for me. I struggled for years with this one. I had been told for years by coaches that in order to have the drive and passion I needed to succeed I had to have a big "Why". I would sit thru class after class that would refer to my big why.  I wasn’t even sure I needed a big why…I mean I had a good business, made decent money, traveled and all that stuff.  I should have been content… but I knew there was more.

Now please don't misunderstand me. I, of course, had reasons for doing what I did, and for having my goals, yet it never seemed special or big enough. I wanted to give my son everything, I wanted to live a great life with nice things and have low stress. But doesn't everyone want that? Was it enough? I didn't know. It’s not like I was building schools for Children in Africa or building a foundation. Here was the other piece of that struggle: every class, they would have us write out our big why and then have a few people share theirs if they were comfortable in doing so. Of course, only the people that were inventing water purification systems in Nairobi ever shared.  The rest of us sat there and tried to look like we had it all under control and just wanted to keep our big plans secret.

I don't mean to be sarcastic, but I just never thought I had it figured out. But hold on, I was absolutely positive at that time that I was the only one in the room that didn't get it. Now that I do get it, and I help others figure out how to get it, I know I was not alone. Most of the rest of the room was feeling the same way.

Ok so, what made the light bulb come on? 

I finally realized that it was ok and actually, much more attainable to have numerous whys for different parts of my life. In this way they can be measurable and have a process. Not to say that the huge why's of saving something or someone didn't have a place, but that one huge why may not fulfill my needs or desires in all the areas of my life.

In this way, I was also able to have why's that gave to not only my son or my clients but also to myself. By doing this, it provided more successes and a well-rounded life allowing me to have a big giant why that I could wrap my head around.

What does that look like? Well, maybe for you finding Clarity in your personal relationships would be one area, another might be your business or career, while health may be another and the list builds from there.

I can't answer that question for you, but if you write out your own categories you will quickly be able to define what critical areas in your life are markers for your future success and happiness.

I know for me this is when I figured out that “just ok”, was not good enough, and even though I had nothing to complain about, I also had no “why's" to set goals around that would influence every corner of my life

Going back to the research of high performers, what Brendon found is that high performers have more clarity on who they are, what they want and how to get it. They have also done deep work to determine what they find fulfilling and meaningful.

I think you can go at this a couple different directions.

• 1. You can do some soul searching and really learn about yourself.  Which regardless of what order you do this; you must take the time to know who you are and what makes you happy.

OR

• 2. You may find it helpful to define those categories and big why's and as you do this, it may open your eyes and your heart to those questions of who you are, what you want and what gives you fulfillment.

It is my hope that you will really take some time this week and think about the areas in your life that are most important to you and why.  What would you change in each of these areas to be the best version of yourself that you can?  Take out your journal and start writing things out.  If you want to learn more about this Clarity piece I encourage you to read Brendon’s book “High Performance Habits”.

In the next few weeks, we will talk about some different ideas that may be helpful to you in defining what habits could really make a difference in how you show up each day.  How you lead those around you and what type of parent, friend, spouse or partner you are.

I look forward to guiding you down this path.  If you liked this, you would love my Focus Forward Coaching Program.  Check us out at focusforwardbusinessdesign.com under coaching for the option that can change your life.

Check us out next week for your next inspiration to taking your life to a new level and remember the choice is always yours to Focus Forward.