Grow Through Who You Know

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Summary

People that are on the path to personal growth or to live that bigger life have made the conscious decision not to be the victim and to be in control of their world, regardless of what their past has held or what influence others have had on them.

Does this mean that unfortunate things don’t happen to people that are not self-made victims…of course not?  We all have our struggles that we must contend with. Whether it be personal, business, job, kids, we all have to confront challenges.  The difference is whether you curl up in the corner and wait for the bad stuff to pass or whether you stand up to it and decide what needs to happen for you to come out on top, control what you can control and learn from the situation.

Here is the question, how can we give ourselves an advantage and come out on top more often, excel faster than average, have the influence that we desire and succeed at a higher level than most of our peers.  The answer is simply look around and see who you are surrounding yourself with.

Full Transcript

We all know that we are the biggest dictator of who we are and what direction our lives take.  There are of course things that arise that we have little or no control over, but ultimately, we will still decide how we react to things and how those outcomes will affect us.

There are those that will say, and I think that they truly believe that their destiny is truly in the hands of what life has dealt them or what others have done or will do to them.  This type of person tends to get referred to as victims.  I want to be very clear, I am not here to judge anyone, and everyone has their own story.  What I do know is that people that are on the path to personal growth or to live that bigger life have made the conscious decision not to be the victim and to be in control of their world, regardless of what their past has held or what influence others have had on them.

Does this mean that unfortunate things don’t happen to people that are not self-made victims…of course not?  We all have our struggles that we must contend with. Whether it be personal, business, job, kids, we all have to confront challenges.  The difference is whether you curl up in the corner and wait for the bad stuff to pass, or whether you stand up to it and decide what needs to happen for you to come out on top, control what you can control and learn from the situation.

Here is the question, how can we give ourselves an advantage and come out on top more often, accel faster than average, have the influence that we desire and succeed at a higher level than most of our peers.  The answer is simple…look around you and see who you are surrounding yourself with.

There are a number of different things that we need to look at when we start talking about who we choose as the people that we are going to spend the majority of our time with.  We are going to talk about 2 different things to consider when you are evaluating not only those that you currently have as your closest 5, but also those that you are electing to invite into your circle.   We know the 5 people that you spend the most time with will have the greatest impact on your world, but we also know that we are constantly meeting people and trying to increase our impact.  By having a litmus test of sorts, it makes it easier to really figure out who the amazing people are that also have big visions and are reaching for that next goal.  These are the people that you want to surround yourself with.

Your first thing to look at when looking at those who influence you is to be truthful about the people that bring you down, who don’t aspire to succeed at the same level or pace that you do.  This is a shift that will make a remarkable difference in the speed with which you find success and is one of the first things to identify when looking at that awesome group of people you want to hang out with.  Let’s take for example if you are a person who is a “doer”…meaning you don’t wait around for the opportunity to find you, you go after it.  You figure out how to make things happen.  But let’s say that the team that you have surrounded yourself with, who should be your support are not as eager to move forward and are content to let things be as they have been in the past or worse yet are ok with letting you be the visionary and the ambition behind every new idea.  Eventually this is going to wear you down and your motivation and enthusiasm is going to lessen considerably until you can’t remember what got you so excited in the first place.

I know that for me a really good indicator of how someone fits in my life is how they make me feel.  If you think about this you will get it really quickly.  Have you ever spent time with someone who when you leave you are just physically and or mentally drained?  I know that I have and I also know that when I ask this question of my coaching students, almost immediately they can think of someone that has that effect on them.  Let's swing the pendulum the other direction and think of those people that when you are with them you find yourself smiling and your conversations are engaging.  These are the people that get you fired up in a great way, they challenge you to be better and to grow.  Pay attention to these feelings the next few times you are with people and you will quickly identify the healthy relationships and those that are not adding value to your life.

This is of course where it can get tricky and be a bit uncomfortable. But remember that you will always feel some level of discomfort as you are growing.  The idea is not to hurt feelings or burn bridges but to find a way to gracefully step away from certain relationships in order to not stifle your growth both personally and professionally.  If you are struggling with that decision, I challenge you to step back and remind yourself of what your goals are and the work that you have done to come this far.

The next thing to think about is who you are and what you stand for.  We all have standards that we set for ourselves.  Likely, these standards began to get embedded when we were children, and our parents began teaching us the basic wrong and rights.  As we got older we took those lessons and applied them to situations or sometimes temptations that were put in front of us.  Now if you were like me as a teenager, the decisions made were not always in alignment with what my parents had instilled in me and no doubt caused some disappointment in my choices.  However, we also know that is part of growing and learning and that with any luck it all comes back around to what we know is right.  You may have even set standards in your life or business that the people that mean the most to you know.  For example, my team knows that our two business statements are “we never cross a gray line” and “Always do what’s right at the end of the day”.  These may seem very basic and obvious, but we all know that there are people out there that don’t hesitate to do whatever is necessary to get to that next level, or get the deal done.  I know that if we follow those 2 simple rules I will sleep well at night, my team and clients will be taken care of at the highest level and success will ultimately follow.

Now that we are all grown up hopefully, we have goals that are going to elevate us to a life that is incredible both personally and professionally.  This is when we have to make sure that those around you elevate you to that level that you are pursuing.  Many times you have had the same people in your life for years.  Some of them may have even been from the years when we were learning to make the best decisions.  Those people have become a fixture in our lives.   It may be time to reevaluate those people and make sure they still fit with the big picture.  When you purposefully make the choice to surround yourself with people that motivate you, share your ambitions and make you happy you will discover that you all of a sudden are not as willing to have people in your life that don’t bring these attributes to the table.  If you are trying to build your business or have that amazing life would you want people that bring negative energy into your circle.  Of course, you wouldn’t, you want that power of excitement and ambition to help keep you fresh and moving upward.

I hope that this has given you something to reflect on as you are looking to surround yourself with the best of the best.

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Remember it is your choice to Focus Forward