Emotional Leverage

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Summary

The idea of emotional leverage stems from when you are trying to achieve something you feel is great but are struggling getting up and making it happen.  In other words, emotional leverage is your spark…it is the most direct route to the life you desire and envision.

Recognize that we all need to utilize our emotional leverage from time to time when we encounter situations that we just can’t seem to get past, or things we genuinely want to do, but often it is going to be work, and therefore we choose the path of least resistance, which ultimately leads to no change and therefore no increased happiness.   

Think of Emotional Leverage as those hot buttons that motivate you to do the next great thing. Whatever the reason is that resonates with you…that is your hot button.  That is the emotional charge that you use to push yourself to do the things that matter to you.

 What got you excited when you thought about it?  What does your life look like once you have achieved the outcome you closed your eyes and saw?  Those are the hot buttons…. use them every single day to get past the hard spots.

What triggers will make you commit?  You may not get it right the first time. So, pick yourself up and dig deeper to get that answer that truly means something to you.

It is easy to set the goal, and even put the process in motion…but continuing to push forward through the struggles and frustrations can sometimes require that shove that can help draw out that emotional leverage. 

To effectively use emotional leverage, we must recognize and acknowledge that our emotions give us great information.  We need to look at how we react to different things and assess those reactions in order to know how to leverage those emotions to our advantage.  It almost sounds like a form of manipulation, but it is really using the science of what we know about ourselves to improve the way that we naturally react, and to be able to replace it with an action that has the desired outcome that we are looking for.  Remembering that emotions control most decision outcomes whether it’s buying that great new gadget or convincing someone that your way of thinking may just benefit them.   Leverage your emotional hot buttons.

Inspirational Quotes

Full Transcript

Have you ever thought about leverage in the sense of using it for emotional charge?  What do I mean by that?  Well…if you think about it we all use leverage in different parts of our life and typically it is to improve our way of life, the ease with which we do something or to give us more freedom, whether that be professionally or personally.  Most often it comes in the form of other people, equipment systems or tools.   What if you took a step back and determined that the needs that you had were deeper seeded than that?  Would you know what to do or where to go or even what you were looking for?

When I decided to teach on the subject of leverage this month, I very quickly came up with most of my themes and outlines for each week fairly easily until I hit this one.  I knew that emotional leverage was a thing that needed to be addressed, as I had talked about it with my coaching clients time and time again, yet to put it out there and try to define exactly what it is and what it can provide was a bigger challenge and one that I decided I needed to take on.  You see talking about system leverage or financial leverage…those are easy and don’t have that feeling of attachment that you feel when you put the word emotional out there.  All of a sudden people think we are getting all analytical and are going to do a deep dive into your childhood.  In full disclosure I am no psychologist or psychiatrist, what I can do however is ask the questions of myself and those that reach out to me.  What makes us the best version of ourselves that we can be?  What is it that drives us to perform at higher levels than we ever have?  These are the answers that we try to self-discover.

About now you are probably thinking, geez Leigh, this is really a downer, where is the cheerleading and motivation?  Stay with me… we are going to get there, but I really need you to think deeply and wrap your arms around the concept of emotional leverage and what it can mean for you.  

You know the road to Oz was not always smooth and easy.  Occasionally those evil little monkeys have to be dealt with to get to the end goal.  I don’t even know where that analogy came from, but it popped into my head and so it’s too late to take it back.  With any luck I will not break into the yellow brick road song and dance…you know the one.  It’s in your head now huh? 

Alright, Onward we go….So, the whole idea of emotional leverage stems from when you are trying to achieve something you feel is great but are struggling getting up and making it happen.  In other words, emotional leverage is your spark…it is the most direct route to the life you desire and envision.

Now most people if you asked them would probably tell you that they are happy with their lives. It is like when you ask someone how their day is going and out of habit they say great or fine and then as the conversation goes forward it seems that one of the parties if not both is complaining about work, or their relationships, the kids, politics, you name it… great and fine don’t seem so wonderful now do they?  Are these two people truly happy?  Hard to say…some people just like to bitch and honestly it can become a habit.  

I am going to go over 2 things that you can do to recognize how your emotional leverage can be used to improve your life and can be used to take you to a different way of thinking and behaving.   

The first thing is to recognize that we all need to utilize our emotional leverage from time to time when we encounter situations that we just can’t seem to get past, or things we truly want to do, but often times it is going to be work, and therefore we choose the path of least resistance, which ultimately leads to no change and therefore no increased happiness.   

Think of Emotional Leverage as those hot buttons that motivate you to do the next great thing.  The inspiration to work out…. every week…not just from Jan 2nd – 15th.  So, for example rather than telling yourself that you want to lose weight or even taking it a level deeper by stating that you want to lose 20 lbs.…you find that motivator.  The thing that helps you define what will be different in your life if you lose 20lbs…Maybe it's that beach vacation coming up, or you know that your health will be improved. Maybe you want to be a role model for your kids.  Whatever the reason is that resonates with you…that is your hot button.  That is the emotional charge that you use to push yourself to do the things that matter to you. 

Maybe you have the vision of beginning a new chapter in your business.  Something that you have always wanted to do that is a true passion.  But once you begin writing down the ideas and the logistics it seems too overwhelming or hard.  Maybe you even convince yourself you just aren’t good enough.  Do you think some emotional leverage might be useful here?  Why did you want to do this in the first place?  What got you excited when you thought about it?  What does your life look like once you have achieved the outcome you closed your eyes and saw?  Those are the hot buttons…. use them every single day to get past the hard spots.

 Remember that the definition of leverage is using something that you already have…so I know that you have it in you to be anything or have anything that you dream of…You just have to figure out what those triggers are that will make you commit.  You may not get it right the first time. So pick yourself up and dig deeper to get that answer that truly means something to you and not just the answer that everyone expects.  

This is where I find that having a coach can be an invaluable third party in your life to help you define what is truly going to mean enough to you to make you commit and stick with it, even when it gets hard.  What we do know is that we are our own worst accountability partner…no one will let you off the hook easier than you.  If you are in a position to get coaching, I can’t suggest it strongly enough.  High performers have multiple coaches in different aspects of their lives to help them reach new levels.  It is easy to set the goal, and even put the process in motion…but continuing to push forward through the struggles and frustrations can sometimes require that shove that can help draw out that emotional leverage.

The second thing to look at is that in order to effectively use emotional leverage we must recognize and acknowledge that our emotions give us great information.  We need to look at how we react to different things and assess those reactions in order to know how to leverage those emotions to our advantage.  It almost sounds like a form of manipulation, but it is really using the science of what we know about ourselves to improve the way that we naturally react, and to be able to replace it with an action that has the desired outcome that we are looking for.

Let’s take that same concept one step further and ask yourself how that works when trying to convince a coworker, friend or family member to do something that maybe is not on their radar to do.   It is not any different, it is just watching and discovering what their emotions are telling you so that you can appeal to his or her emotional hot buttons.  Remembering that emotions control most decision outcomes whether it’s buying that great new gadget or convincing someone that your way of thinking may just benefit them.  When trying to be an influencer and persuade someone of something or bring them into your way of thinking, always start with an emotional appeal and show them how they will benefit.   Do you see how this is also a way of using emotional leverage?  People do it all the time…the best salesmen have probably done it to you without you even knowing it.  Talk to me about the last car you bought…just sayin’. 

To wrap this up I just want you to really understand that those big goals you have are out there just waiting for you to grab them, but so many times we start and stop and never look into ourselves to find out the why in what we want.  You are so worth the prize at the end of the journey…don’t stop…find the right buttons.

I hope this has given you some things to think about and helped you.

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Please remember as you go through your day that it is always your choice to Focus Forward.