6 Spot on Ways to be the Most Influential Person in the Room

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 Summary

Listen when people speak. Really teach yourself to listen at a level that you never have before. Many people can claim to be listening and it may even appear that they are. But are they mentally engaged with the conversation or are they thinking of the next thing that they should say, or worse yet thinking about something or someone entirely separate from what is happening in front of them or on the other end of the phone? Being an influencer means caring and caring means listening and interacting. A challenge for you would be to replay a conversation that took place during your day and put yourself in the other person's shoes…how do you think that they felt when that conversation ended? Did they feel that you were an advocate for them, that you helped them or were you just a warm body that stood there and nodded? We have all been on both sides of those “courtesy” conversations and know that you walk away with no great take away or feeling of growth or support.

Be the expert. People respect the people that are the true expert in what they are leading in. This does not mean that you are the snotty know it all that won’t listen to others input or is degrading to those that may hold a lesser position. Being the expert means putting in the time to learn everything you can about the subject that you are leading others in and look for ways to help others and educate them in your topic.

Know your story. People love and can relate to stories. If you are familiar with John Maxwell, one of the most highly successful authors on leadership and sought-after speaker, then you know that he has become the influencer that he is through storytelling. When he tells a story and has the whole room picturing the adventure that he is spinning. They are engaged and laughing and at the end of the story he has managed to implant that message, whatever it might have been, and you don’t forget it. You have had teachers that you embraced their subject at a deep level because they taught through stories and personal experience versus lecturing from a book.  What is your story? We all have them. Literally start making a list of things that have happened in your life, stories that at the surface you don’t think they mean anything, but you remember them because they had impact, they will impact others as well.

Catch people being great. We all like to be recognized for doing something well, yet oftentimes those in leadership forget that piece and, on their way, to moving the needle one step further they tend to focus on the negative things that held them back. A leader with influence will never cease to see the positive things happening around them because they know that when people feel good and proud of what they are doing they will strive to be better and do better versus those who are afraid of doing anything for fear they will be knocked down.

Full Transcript

We have spent this month talking about influence and what that means and what it looks like.  So, we are going to wrap up the month with some black and white ways to be that influencer that you want to be in a positive, helpful way through building relationships. Habits that you can put into place starting today to change the way that others perceive you…to be the leader that they are looking for.

I am Leigh Wilson and this is Focus Forward Business Design where we help you embrace the belief that you should never have to compromise your personal happiness or your career success to be amazing at both. Having to choose one over the other is not an option!

So you know what influence looks like, both positively and negatively and you have decided that you want to be that person that others look up to as a positive, growth minded influencer.  What are the key things that must be in place for that to happen?  I am going to give you 6 of the most important characteristics of the highest performing influencers.  There are more than these 6 but by mastering these 6 you will be well on your way to being a very positively influencing person.

I challenge you to write these down and then go back through and highlight or number in order how you want these to play into your life.  Once you have done that, be purposeful about implementing them.  Add them to your weekly, monthly and quarterly goals sheets.  Put reminders up in front of you that you can’t get away from and are a good check in.  For example, on my white board in my office I will write down things that I need to see on a constant basis to remind myself of why we do what we do.  Right now, the most recent phrase on my board is “Challenge is the Pathway”.  This is a reminder to me that I have to not only challenge myself, but I have to challenge my coaching students constantly to step outside of their comfort zone and do the things that they are committing to that they know will take their lives to the next level.  One of the coaching students recently shared with me that it was her free 1:1 strategy session with me that inspired her to take her fitness to a new level and enter a Spartan race.  Now if you are not familiar with Spartan racing, here is the quick and dirty description.  Running, slip walls, mud, ropes course on steroids, reverse inclines, and other various forms of athletic torture.  On the positive side it includes teamwork, new relationships, a new respect for yourself and others.  Now let me be clear, this person had no clue what she was getting herself in for, yet after challenging herself in her 1:1 session she found the nerve to register, travel 500 miles and jump in headfirst.  I have no idea what part of our session led to this challenge, but it did confirm that “Challenge is the Pathway” so my clues to myself are helping others.  

Let’s get started…get out that paper or journal and start writing how to be the most influential in the room.

Number one – Believe in yourself.  Influencing people begins with yourself. If you want to be a positive influence in the life of others you must look at how you are communicating and developing relationships with those around you.  Really take a step back and analyze what your daily conversations with others look like.  Are you reinforcing great work, supporting the ones around you who are struggling or are you just blowing them off and letting them figure it out through frustration?

Number two – Be Genuine and authentic…this can also be tied to vulnerability.  So many of us were raised to believe that being vulnerable is a weakness when in fact we are learning that those around us view it as a strength and that people who allow others in by being vulnerable gain the respect and support of those around them at a much deeper level than those who put up that wall of toughness, trying to convince people that nothing affects them and they can win any battle without pain or suffering.   People truly warm up to people that are genuine and caring.

Number three – Listen when people speak.  I mean really teach yourself to listen at a level that you never have before.  Many people can claim to be listening and it may even appear that they are.  But, are they mentally engaged with the conversation or are they thinking of the next thing that they should say, or worse yet thinking about something or someone entirely separate from what is happening in front of them or on the other end of the phone?  Being an influencer means caring and caring means listening and interacting.  A challenge for you would be to replay a conversation that took place during your day and put yourself in the other person's shoes…how do you think that they felt when that conversation ended?  Did they feel that you were an advocate for them, that you helped them or were you just a warm body that stood there and nodded?  We have all been on both sides of those “courtesy” conversations and know that you generally walk away with no great take away or feeling of growth or support.

Number four – Be the expert.  People respect the people that are the true expert in what they are leading in.  This does not mean that you are the snotty know it all that won’t listen to others input or is degrading to those that may hold a lesser position.  Being the expert means putting in the time to learn everything you can about the subject that you are leading others in and look for ways to help others and educate them in your topic.

Number five – Know your story.  People love and can relate to stories.  If you are familiar with John Maxwell, one of the most highly successful authors on leadership and sought-after speaker, then you know that he has become the influencer that he is through storytelling.  He never ceases to amaze me when he tells a story and has the whole room picturing the adventure that he is spinning.  They are engaged and laughing and at the end of the story he has managed to implant that message, whatever it might have been and you don’t forget it.  You have probably had teachers that you embraced their subject at a deep level because they taught through stories and personal experience versus lecturing from a book.  What is your story?  We all have them and I encourage you to do what I had to do and that is to literally start making a list of things that have happened in your life, stories that at the surface you don’t think they mean anything, but you remember them because they had impact…they will impact others as well.

Number six – Catch people being great.   We all like to be recognized for doing something well, yet oftentimes those in leadership forget that piece and on their way to moving the needle one step further they tend to focus on the negative things that held them back. A leader with influence will never cease to see the positive things happening around them because they know that when people feel good and proud of what they are doing they will strive to be better and do more good versus those who are afraid of doing anything for fear they will be knocked down.   An example of this and this is a totally true story…a new division manager at a fortune 50 company was responsible for building the relationship and ensuring that the company would get a new very lucrative contract that would bring in excess of 10 million dollars from a new client.  Through some very evident errors on the managers part the company did not get the contract and in fact the entire relationship was destroyed with no hope of salvaging it.  The manager was pulled into the President of the company's office and as you can imagine he was ready to turn in his company ID, credit cards and anything else that affiliated him with this giant that he felt so blessed to be a part of.   He entered the office and stood before the giant desk and began by apologizing to his superior and telling him that he understood that he was being fired and that in his position he would do the same thing..  The president stood up and said “please have a seat” and then sat back down himself.  He asked the manager what he had discovered about himself during this disaster.  He then followed it up by saying “I am not firing you…are you kidding I just spent 10 million dollars on your education”.

Now, this may not have been the perfect example of catching someone doing something great, but at the same time it does not degrade someone for making a mistake but allows them to learn and move forward from it.   This may not always be the outcome but recognizing situations of someone doing something well or even learning when a mistake is made has influencer stamped all over it.

Alright leaders…I hope that this  has given you some great tips on moving your level of influence in a positive direction and in turn will give back on so many levels to those that are in both your personal life and your careers.

If you want to take this to the next level then click below and sign up for your free 1:1 strategy session with me, your high performance coach and uncover things that you never knew were there.

Please share this with 3 of your amazing go getter friends because we need more influencers in our world… and always remember it is your choice to focus forward.