5 Tips to Reduce Holiday Stress

Full Transcript

Holiday Stress is a real thing and learning what you can do to make this time of year not only manageable, but enjoyable is key to truly believing it can be the most wonderful time of the year and living in the Tis the season to be jolly moments.

I am Leigh Wilson and this is Focus Forward Business Design.

We all know that the holidays in the best of times bring stress, but the past couple of years have had their own unique stressors with COVID adding travel restrictions, masking, group limits and event cancellations.  As we move into the 2021 holiday season it does seem that we have progressed past last year and a bit more normalcy may be present for this year, but that does not eliminate all the holiday stress that has been around since Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Holidays added the expectation of joyous gatherings, large meals, gifts and extended family.

I am going to wrap up an early Christmas gift for you and give you 5 reminders to reduce your holiday stress so you can wrap up the year with amazing memories.

1. This is the most important which is why I list it first…basically if everything else falls apart just do this one thing and you will be ok.   Many of you know that I love lists, which depending on who you follow can be a positive or a negative.  For this exercise we are going to go with positive and you get a bonus…you get to make 2 lists.  The first list is your to do list.  You know how to do this one so no explanation is necessary.   The 2nd list is your “me” list.  This list is going to include all the things that you are going to do  for yourself, to keep the sanity, to treat yourself and to take that much needed break away from groups and  a break from list #1.

You can decide how to best utilize these 2 lists together.  The most important part is that you do it.  So for example you might have "getting gifts for Aunt Sue and Uncle Doug" on the to do list and once you have accomplished this you choose an item from the “me” list such as working out, or taking 30 minutes to read a book and that is your time for you.   You can do a 1:1 ratio on this or maybe you know it's more practical and based upon the size of the to do list you will determine whether maybe you accomplish 2 items on the to do list and then relish in a “Me” list item…the choice is yours.

The point is that by doing this you maintain some sense of balance and control in what can otherwise be a constant flurry of activities that appear to revolve around the needs of others at times.  This prevents you from remembering the most important person in the equation is you.  If you don’t do the “me” list, you will likely not be as effective at the to do list.

2. Accept Imperfections – For some reason when it comes to the holidays, holiday meals, gifts, and  get-togethers we tend to put this unrealistic expectation upon ourselves that everything has to be perfect.  In our quest for perfection, we add a huge mountain of stress upon ourselves.  When you really think about this you realize how ridiculous it is…lets add more people (some that may come with their own stress), high energy events, potentially skills that we don’t use very often and then expect sheer perfection.  Crazy right.   Give yourself some grace and be ok with what it ends up being.   And here is something to reflect on.  When are some of the best memories made?   Usually when something goes off plan and feels like a disaster at the time, but can be laughed at later.  I mean who remembers the event that goes off perfectly?  I am sure that most of us will likely remember going to the wedding where the cute little flower girl sticks her hand in the cake over the standard cutting of the cake…just saying.

3. Focus on what you can control – So often we get overly concerned about things that we have no control over the outcome of.    It is so easy to get wrapped up in what could happen, or should happen that we forget that there are things that we are in total control over and will make happen.  As things may not go exactly as you envisioned…ask yourself this.  Is it going to matter in the big picture?

4. Acknowledge the overwhelm –  The overwhelm is going to occur.  Let’s just accept that for what it is and get past it.   Here is the key though.  Acknowledge the overwhelm and don’t ignore it.  Give it the credit it deserves and take a few moments to stop and ask yourself where the overwhelm is coming from.  Likely, you will be able to go back to #1 in this list and it will solve itself.  But as you are having the conversation with yourself no doubt (because everyone else is wrapped up in their own overwhelm) ask yourself if all of this over-the-top craziness worth it.  When you determine that you can control the overwhelm by just stepping back for a moment your sense of calm will resurface.

5. Ask for help and learn to say no – I had to combine these 2 as I said I was only giving you 5 and they are somewhat related on opposite sides.   It is so easy to just take on the world and everyone else's tasks.  I mean you are a nice, giving person so isn’t that what you should do? No, realize your limitations and don’t put yourself in a position of exceeding your comfort level or raising the expectations so high that you could not possibly succeed.  Have you ever noticed that the person at the party who is the least stressed and is enjoying themselves the most is the one that did little to nothing to make it happen?  Of course, there is no demand on them.  Share the load and ask others to pitch in and then everyone will be able to have a controllable amount of the responsibility and all of you can enjoy the moment.   Remember that it is ok to say no when asked to do that one more thing - that one side of your brain is saying absolutely not and the other side is trying to rearrange your day and your schedule to make it happen.  You are not a bad person for saying no….obviously you want to say it nicely but  don’t leave the conversation in a gray area.  Make sure the other party understands that you will not be doing whatever it is that they asked for.  The last thing you need is a situation of I thought you were going to do it…NO I thought you were.

The holidays should be an amazing time of great friends, great family, love and lasting memories.  You have total control to make this time of year what you want it to be.  Take the time and set the boundaries and know this….you don’t have to be perfect and no one expects it but you, so give yourself and break and have an eggnog.

Happy Holidays from Focus Forward.