3 Keys to Being Highly Influential

Full Transcript

You mention the word influence and many things come to mind to different people.  I have heard people say, “role model” or “mentor”.  On the opposite end, I have heard, “manipulate” or “force”. Those are quite different feelings that one word can generate depending on the life lessons that someone has experienced. How you choose to use influence can be a major factor in the results that it produces.  Let’s jump in.

I am Leigh Wilson and this is Focus Forward Business Design

I really was amazed at how many people look at influence as a negative thing.  It made me step back with fresh eyes and take a look at what people were perceiving influence to be.  What I found out is that a large majority of the population truly felt that the definition of influence was parallel with manipulation.

What we do know and what I have always believed is that high performers have the ability and the gift to influence people in incredibly positive ways in their personal lives, their careers and the way that they inspire those around them to live larger and strive to be better.

I hope that this is how you envision influence and that you are always reaching to influence those around you.  One of the best compliments someone can give me is to tell me that I influenced them to do something that changed their lives, or took them to another level or even helped them reach a goal or lifelong dream.  Being an influencer is not easy and is very intentional.  It is something that must constantly be top of mind for those who want to have that positive influence on others.  It takes a huge effort every single day with every person that you meet.

Let’s go over 3 ways that you can raise the level of influence that you bring to those people that you lead in your daily life or love in your personal life.

One – Be intentional….  What do I mean by this?  I mean that every conversation with every person you must be present and mindful of what that conversation or action represents.  So often we go through our day having countless interactions with people, with no thought to how we are coming across.  If we want to influence others to act in a certain way, then we need to lead by example.  Be that person that they want to emulate.  What did the last 5 conversations with the most important people in your life look like?  I challenge you to stop right here and write down who those people were and what the feeling or the action that was portrayed looked like.  Is that what the best version of yourself would have said, or acted, or were you in a hurry or impatient?  I am not passing judgement here I am just trying to get you to think about what you wanted to leave that person feeling…did you succeed or was there room for improvement.    Being engaged and wanting that person to feel positive at the end of the interaction is key to being the influencer that people are striving to be.

Two – I know that you have heard the saying that God gave us 2 ears and one mouth for a reason.  People want to be heard and so often we are in a hurry or we ourselves are so intent on being heard that we forget a conversation takes more than one person.  In order to be an influencer, those around you must feel that you truly want to hear what they have to say and that their opinions and feelings matter.  This is a form of respect.  I am sure you have either experienced or witnessed a situation where a parent is speaking to a child and the child has no opportunity to say 2 words.  This also happens in the workplace where a supervisor may be speaking to a subordinate.  In both cases, you have one person who is in the perceived leadership position and the other in the traditionally more passive position.  How do those interactions typically end? I think more often than not, both parties are left frustrated or worse yet, their confidence or self worth may have been depleted a bit.

You have also likely seen the situation where a leader, be it a parent, employer, CEO or like individual slows down, has a conversation and hears the fears or opinions or ideas of the other person and how that conversation ends.

So often we prejudge a person before we ever get to witness their brilliance. People of influence understand that those around them bring a huge value to the world and they deserve to be recognized, and to feel like they are a contributor and not a puppet or a bystander.

Three – This is very similar to the listening piece but it goes deeper.  It is being able to communicate to others that they are an integral piece of the bigger picture.  That their opinions and ideas will be a great determinant of a company or a relationship's future success.  It is giving people ownership.  Leaders that are considered positive influencers and who are looked up to and emulated trust their team.  Whether that be at work or in a family, the whole team unites to level up and conquer the goals and objectives.

How many of us like to be micromanaged…not to many people that I know?  Giving people the freedom to be creative and contribute is training them for future success and a feeling of pride.  If an employee or even a child at home feels that they were a part of the win they will be more likely to be excited for the next adventure or challenge. High achievers that allow others to grow are the largest influencers of people that will go on to live bigger lives and have the confidence to one day be influencers themselves.

Again, I challenge you to stop before each interaction you have this week and really think about how you are showing up and what feeling you are leaving the group or individual with.  Do they feel positive and supported?  

Next week we will talk about 3 other strategies to increase your level of influence and to really be that person that others want to learn from and be with.

If you liked this, please help us out and share with 3 of your friends.  This is a great way to be an influencer to those that watch what you do.  

To take your life and your career to the next level, click below for your FREE 1:1 strategy session with your personal Focus Forward Coach.  It will be 60 minutes of planning that will change your future.